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Tuesday, March 6, 2012

1 Month & Motherhood

I know I say this a lot but I just can't believe how fast time goes by. It really feels like yesterday that I was in the hospital in crucial pain just counting down the time until Jadelyn would finally make it into this world. I can't grasp how quick a month went by. It really saddens me that I'll be going back to work soon. 6 weeks felt like a week! I spend so much time with her that I don't want to know what it's going to feel like being away from her for even just a few hours a day. I want to cry just thinking about not being able to be by her side 24/7. Ahhhhh, it's killing me.

Happy one month, baby girl! I love how she can just chill on my lap without a care in the world and just fall asleep. I love how I have that special touch of soothing her like nobody else. I love how she stares into my eyes & just wants me to talk stories with her in the morning. I love how she'll let me kiss her all over her cheeks & lips without getting irritated. Plain & simple, I LOVE HER! Jadelyn & I just bond like no one else.

You know, I never had this "special" bond with Landon. Actually, Pat & I haven't. We were kids when we had Landon. I wasn't even close to being 21 years old! We were totally clueless & didn't know anything about raising a child. Thank God Pat's parents were there to help but maybe we got spoiled just a little too much. I'm not complaining about that because I appreciate every single thing that they've done for us & Landon but we never really got the hands on experience with raising him. He is definitely much closer to his grandparents than he is to us. I don't blame him.

Life is all about learning. It's okay to make mistakes but make sure you learn from them. I promised myself that I'd be a better parent with Jadelyn. There's a 6 year gap between Landon & Jadelyn so I definitely had a few years to mature & grow into a different person. A great example was this past Saturday, all my co-workers & friends went out to the club. It's been over a year since I went to a club. I really wanted to go & catch up, get all dolled up & just relax with my girls. Unfortunately I couldn't go because I got sick, Landon's asthma started acting up that night and I didn't have a babysitter. I was so irritated & mad at the world that I couldn't go but I realized that sacrifices had to be made. It's no longer about me anymore. When we got home from my parents' house that evening, I felt so much better about the decisions that I made that night. As we settled into bed, I glanced at Jadelyn for a minute or two and realized that at home is exactly where I needed to be, lying right next to my baby girl. It was such a bittersweet feeling.

Motherhood is one tough job! It's the one job that doesn't come with instructions. You'll never know what losing your patience feels like until you have a child. Although I'm super exhausted 99% of the time, even though I don't get as much rest as I used to and my days consists of diaper changing, washing baby's laundry, pumping milk, carrying and dancing a little baby around, washing bottles & being able to catch up on everything else like eating, sleeping, watching tv and chores only when she's asleep, I would not change a thing! The way I feel about her is unexplainable. I just know that Jadelyn & I will be closer than anything. Thank you God for answering my prayers & blessing me with my baby girl!


Jessica said...

Awee babe this is so sweet! Ur a great mommy and im sure they apprieciate everything!!

cutesyhygiene said...

I know how you feel i have 5 lol yes 5

Sasa Sasha said...

Wow only 6 weeks off?? Seriously? is that like a law in your country? Here, mothers get 1 year off...

Wifezilla Hekela said...

Aww what a sweet post. I completely feel you on this...As a Parent with each new child, its amazing how natural things come, and how much we are still learning. You both look beautiful! Hope all is well! xoxo

Elba said...

I'm glad you're enjoying your time with your baby girl!

Lisa said...

Jessica: Thanks, love <3

Cutesyhygiene: Wow! 5?! It's impressive how you can handle everything! I think I'd have white hair by now hehehe.

Sasa: A year? I wish I could take a year off of work. I mean, I could but I wouldn't get paid LOL.

Hekela: Thanks, love <3 Jadelyn is an absolute blessing!

Elba: I am :) I'm so amazed by her.

EveryDay Makeup blog said...

Awww...happy one month to your baby girl. Next thing you know, she will be playing with your makeup lol.

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